Gratitude Adjustment

I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandson lately, sweet, adorable, heart-stealing Carter, who turned two just ten days ago and is already running the show. And because I am the world’s most amazing “Sassy” (my grandma name that I selected with much ado, and a title I wear with all the pride of someone who absolutely lets him get away with too much), I spend a lot of time watching him explore the world like it’s his personal science lab.

But here’s the funny part: for all my doting and swooning over this child (because truly, he is adorable enough to get away with almost anything) his first full sentence wasn’t something magical like “I love you, Sassy,” or “What a beautiful day.” Oh no. It was: “No, don’t touch.” 

What a toddler taught me about language 

I heard it. Not just once.  I heard it multiple times in the short span of 20 minutes.  And I thought: Wait a second. That’s… me. My words. My tone. My constant running commentary of warnings, corrections, and “please don’t break that.” How did I—the fun one, the cool grandmother, the provider of cookies—manage to teach this sweet angel his first full sentence in the language of negativity? 

And that’s when it hit me: if this tiny (and have I mentioned adorable) human, who learns everything by absorbing the world around him, is picking up our “Nos” and “Don’ts” before anything else… what does that say about the way we adults talk to each other? 

Introducing the gratitude adjustment 

If I can unintentionally train a toddler to lead with caution instead of curiosity, how often am I training myself, and everyone around me, to lead with apology instead of gratitude? 

That realization was the spark for what I like to call Gratitude Adjustments. Because honestly, if I don't want Carter's next full sentence to be “Sorry for existing, Sassy,” then maybe I need to rethink the script. 

And not just with him. With everyone. 

Practical ways to reframe with gratitude 

Gratitude, it turns out, is a secret superpower most of us forget we have. It’s not about being polite for politeness’ sake. It’s about completely reframing the tone of a moment, whether it’s with a toddler who’s about to stick a Lego up his nose or a colleague pointing out a minor mistake in your email. 

Take that email scenario. Someone catches a small error. Our knee-jerk reaction? “Oh no, I’m so sorry!” As if the typo will be featured on the evening news. 

But apologizing for every tiny misstep sends the message that we’re delicate, overwhelmed, and one typo away from collapse. Instead, what if we simply said, “Thank you for catching that and letting me know”? Suddenly, you sound poised. Collaborative. Like a person who welcomes improvement instead of fearing imperfection. It’s a completely different vibe. 

Or consider when a colleague graciously walks you through a process you’re still learning. Most of us instinctively blurt, “Sorry for taking your time.” But why? They just shared their expertise—something valuable and generous. Should we really diminish their contribution by acting like we were a burden? 

Try this instead: “Thank you for sharing your expertise—I really appreciate it.” Now they’re the hero offering wisdom, and you’re the thoughtful professional who recognizes it. Win-win. 

Then there’s everyone’s favorite workplace confession: “I’m sorry I’m holding up the project.” Overused apologies lose their punch. A better alternative? “Thank you for your patience while I’ve been working to make this better.” You’re acknowledging reality, but you’re also highlighting your commitment to quality. That’s not just polite—that’s strategic framing. 

Why gratitude makes a difference 

Here’s why this matters: gratitude doesn’t just improve how others perceive you. It rewires how you perceive yourself. Apologies, especially constant unnecessary ones, make you feel smaller. Less confident. Less capable. Gratitude does the opposite. It lifts you. It reminds you that you are collaborative, capable, and part of something bigger than whatever small hiccup just occurred. 

And science backs it up—gratitude reduces stress, increases happiness, boosts resilience, and generally makes life feel more manageable. It’s basically a free wellness plan that doesn’t require an app, a subscription, or a Peloton. 

Make gratitude your default response 

So, the next time you feel an “I’m sorry” rushing up your throat, pause. Ask yourself: “Is there a way to thank someone instead?” Maybe it’s gratitude for their time, their patience, their feedback, or their willingness to help. 

Lead with gratitude, and you shift the entire dynamic. Not just for them—for you. 

Gratitude isn’t just polite; it’s powerful. If Carter is learning from me, and trust me, he is, then I want him learning a language of appreciation instead of fear, curiosity instead of caution, connection instead of constant correction. 

And if I can teach an adorable two-year-old something better than “No, don’t touch,” then surely I can teach myself, too. 

Use gratitude well. It transforms relationships, reshapes your mindset, and maybe even rewrites your life. 

Just ask Sassy. She’s working on it.