If you have ever Googled “isolation for firm owners” or felt the sting of “accounting-firm loneliness,” this is for you.
Running a firm is lonely.
Even if you have a team. Even if you go to events and smile and say “business is great.”
Even if you are on stage, teaching others how to grow their firms.
That loneliness still creeps in:
But you are not. And you never were.
There is a trap no one warns you about.
You launch a firm. You are ambitious. You are good at what you do. People start looking to you for answers, so you feel like you must have them all.
So you stop asking questions.
You stop saying “I don’t know.”
You stop telling the truth, because you think you can’t afford to look uncertain.
“I think the biggest thing that I learned is that people don’t follow a business. They follow people. So I had to get really comfortable sharing when I was struggling.” - Heather Satterley, Unbalanced Podcast
Everyone thinks you have it handled, because you trained yourself to hide the mess.
Some wounds come from obvious enemies. Others arrive wrapped in a smile.
My co-host Sam Hallburn once let a friend live with her rent-free for 18 months, even bankrolling the friend’s tax-prep launch. As soon as tax season ended, that “friend” took Sam’s client list and workflows and opened her own shop, costing Sam tens of thousands and years of goodwill. Friendly betrayal stings hardest because at 3 a.m. you’re left asking, “How did I miss the signs?”
A client’s lawsuit named me simply because we handled their books. When my E&O insurer pointed to an exclusion, every legal bill was mine. I took predatory loans just to keep payroll going while their lawyer demanded seven figures. The case was dropped, but draining my savings taught me to review my insurance and engagement letters every single year.
And we are not unique. Listen to three colleagues whose stories sit on the same shelf:
The roughest moments rarely come from bad bookkeeping itself. They come from humans under pressure. Friends, staff, clients lash out in panic or greed. When the blow lands you feel isolated and ashamed, and that isolation magnifies the damage.
Isolation does not just feel bad. It does bad.
Sometimes you end up not listening to yourself, and listening to what you think you’re supposed to do. Sometimes you end up exhausted, mentally drained. You are emotionally wrecked, until you realize “holy crap, I’m fried. I can’t do this.”
Chronic isolation doubles burnout risk.
Every time I’m coaching and speaking I’m saying it, and I will repeat it here. At my first conference, I asked everyone how their firm was doing, and every single one said it was great. Every time I heard that, I felt more crushed.
But under the shiny answers hide debt, lawsuits, lost clients, health scares, and quiet breakdowns.
We all talk about community. Here is how to actually build it so it holds when the big bad things show up.
1. Build three layers of connection
Example:
“Cash is fourteen days from zero. I’m terrified I will miss payroll. I cut my draw and delayed rent, but it’s not enough. Does anyone have a short-term financing option they trust?”
3. Diversify your identity
Your firm is not your entire self. Volunteer, train for a 5k, take pottery. Jeanne paints. Sean travels with his kids. I go for walks, craft and bake. Sam hikes at dawn. Have something that does not generate an invoice.
Isolation loves eleven at night. Schedule panic at two on Tuesdays. Open a notebook, write worst case scenarios, plan contingencies, close the notebook. Training your brain that worry has a container, keeps it from running your life.
We preach to clients about hiring experts yet treat mental health as a luxury. One 50-minute session can prevent a $50,000 mistake. Budget for mental health the same way you budget for apps.
The Unbalanced Podcast exists to turn whispered confessions into communal strength. Unbalanced, Unafraid, Unstoppable. The moment you say “This is hard and I’m scared,” you gain power, not lose it.
Before another weekend of unspoken panic, try one step. Text a peer:
“Everything looks fine from the outside. It is not fine on the inside. Can we talk?”
Keep texting until someone says yes.
We are all carrying something heavy. We all think we should carry it alone.
None of us were built for that.
Say the thing. Take the hand.
Let’s keep each other in business and in one piece for the long run.
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