At this year’s Scaling New Heights, I expected inspiration. I expected fresh ideas, new tools, and powerful conversations, and I got all of that. But what I didn’t expect were the whispers.
Before and after my two sessions, one on fraud, the other on nailing your niche with Samantha Hallburn, I was surrounded by hugs and smiles. But tucked inside those hugs were quieter moments. Private ones. Whispers of things we don’t say out loud on stage or on social media. These weren’t about tech stacks or pricing strategies. They were about us. The humans behind the firms.
They were about the cost of ambition. The exhaustion of leadership. The guilt of being away from family. Sometimes, the discomfort of being right where we’re meant to be but still feeling like something is off.
What I heard, over and over again, were stories from firm owners at the edge of burnout. Struggling with hiring. Managing cash flow. Second-guessing every decision. Wrestling with the guilt of missing family milestones or, more subtly, the guilt of not missing them because work has become the safer, more comfortable space.
I recently shared my personal struggles at home on LinkedIn. How my work is often my happy place, and the changes I needed to make to re-connect with my family. It's not that I don’t love being a mom and wife. I do. But there are days when leading a firm feels easier than parenting, when solving client problems brings more peace than navigating the unpredictable emotions of family life. And those feelings? They carry guilt, even when they’re grounded in truth.
So imagine the collective sigh when I heard the same from so many other women who whispered, “Me too.”
But the whispers didn’t end with guilt or fatigue. They often led to something deeper: questioning the path we’re all “supposed” to be on.
There is an unrelenting message in our industry: grow or get left behind. Become a million-dollar firm. Add team members. Add services. Build an empire.
For some, that’s exactly the dream. But for many others, that’s a script that doesn’t fit.
One of the most meaningful moments for me came after the conference, when someone who had attended both of my sessions reached out. We hopped on a quick Zoom, and she said something I’ll never forget:
“Your sessions were life-changing. For the first time, I realized I don’t have to build the firm I thought I was supposed to. I can build the one I want to.”
She had been feeling stuck, unhappy with her offerings, and unsure if change was even possible. We talked about how to pivot, how to message the shift to clients, and most importantly how to be okay with not loving every part of the job. Because sometimes we take on work we’re good at that brings in revenue but not joy. That’s not failure that’s life. It doesn’t mean we abandon our dreams; it just means we stay focused while we take care of what needs taking care of.
We have to eat. But that doesn’t mean we have to feast on stress and self-sacrifice.
The theme of this year’s Scaling New Heights was Make It So, a Star Trek nod that speaks to possibility, decisiveness, and ownership. For me, that theme carried a deeper resonance.
“Make it so” doesn’t mean “make it big.” It doesn’t mean “make it fast.” It means make it yours.
For some, that means scaling to seven figures and beyond. For others, it means a lifestyle firm that offers flexibility, freedom, and financial stability without the weight of managing a team. Neither path is better. But what is better, for all of us, is choosing intentionally.
There is strength in saying:
And there’s also strength in saying:
The problem isn’t ambition. The problem is unexamined ambition. When we’re chasing growth we never actually defined for ourselves, we risk building something that doesn’t fit and then resenting it when we get there.
That’s why Samantha & I started Unbalanced. That is why when we approached Anchor, they enthusiastically offered to produce it. We all wanted to create space for these truths. The ones that don’t make it into polished keynotes or marketing decks. The ones that get whispered through tears in conference hallways. It’s a podcast where we say what others are afraid to admit: this is hard. We don’t have all the answers. And sometimes, we feel like we’re barely making it.
Yet we’re still here. Still trying. Still building something that matters.
Maybe that’s what “Make it so” really means: not just building a firm but building a life. Not just growing a practice, but growing into a version of ourselves that’s honest, grounded, and whole.
So if you’re feeling the weight of “shoulds” you should grow, you should scale, you should do more I invite you to pause and ask:
That’s not a whisper. That’s a declaration.
Let’s keep hugging. Let’s keep whispering. But let’s also start speaking up. Because the path to peace isn’t found in someone else’s blueprint. It’s found in the quiet courage to define our own.